They told me that you had to leave, but we didn’t say goodbye, they told me to keep the memory, but is burning me alive.They told me to be strong, told me Ill be fine, they told me time will heal me, but all it was just a lie. The time is running and soon youll be gone, same way you did 15 years ago. Mama, I think a lot about the stars,the scars and your heart, I think about the days, the ways and how you were always there…here, everywhere….and now you are nowhere…nowhere Mama , It`s so impossible to find you. Im staring in every door, drawing circles on the floor trying to find the right reason why you had to leave me, why you had to go. But Mama, im so tired of trying, so exhausted of fighting, i need to put my head on your chest, get some rest right there in your arms, like the way i did before. I need to feel your heart, feel you that you are here, i need you to hold me close, to make me feel like home. Mama i need to come back home, and i need you to be home,making me smile when I was about to cry…oh, Mama why did you have to die. Mama , they telling me Im insane, that i cant feel the pain, that im not even aware when im hurting them. Mama, Ive hurt to many people, ive let down everything else, ive betray so many times…so many lies. Ive completely lost my way, even after 15 fucking years since that day. Mama, i miss you and i miss your shadow, i miss your angry face when i was playing with your eyebrows, i miss your smell, i miss to hold me tight, i miss you to tell me:”dont worry kido, everything its gonna be alright.” Mama… Im wrecking, it burns me, you promised me that youll come to my wedding.
Mama, im sorry, im nothing from what you wanted me to be, im not capable to accept the reality and I am in very deep shit. Im not a child and im not a daughter, im just one lost soul boiling in the cold water. Mama, im gonna scream and im gonna shout im gonna reap my heart out, just to have you for one more day, i have so many things to say. Mama, I know i disapointed you, I did let you down, Im nothing like how you made me…I really think that im gonna drown.
MAMA please come back, just come home, this world its so empty and meaningless with out you.